Want to get intentional about how to find someone to date instead of just leaving it up to chance? Keep reading.
People Who Give Up on Finding Someone to Date Are the Ones Who End Up Alone
We talked to lots of single men and women about why they are dropping out of the dating pool.
One woman declared “I’m done with dating. There are no good men out there. I’m happy to just snuggle on the couch with my cats and hang out with my friends. Being single is better than dating losers.”
One man declared “Women just don’t know what they want. I’m tired of the games and being used for dinner. Online porn and ESPN aren’t so bad as long as I can find the occasional woman to have sex with.”
These may be extreme examples, but men and women who want a special someone in their life are getting burned out.
We don’t know about you, but when we’re burned out we are not sexy, smart, fun or charming…at all!
Caution: You might be dating people who are a good match but because you’ve gotten burned out they are not attracted to you. Get a winning strategy for how to find someone to date that is simple, easy and results oriented so you can be your best self for everyone you date.
Ready to try something that won’t burn you out?
Finding someone to date requires intention and efficiency so your match actually gets to meet the real you!
Three Step Formula for How to Find Someone to Date
Step One: Make Your Online Presence Do The Work
The latest report from a study by an academic research group is that about one third of couples getting married met online and experience higher marital satisfaction than those who met offline. About half met on dating websites and the rest met over a mix of social media sites or other.
Meeting people online can feel scary for some who have not used it before. Use your gut and take the same precautions about meeting people you do in the real world.
Plan to spend about 30 minutes to 1 hour a day on interacting with potential matches.
- Online Dating: Get an online dating profile up on at least one of the sites out there. We recommend the paid sites like match.com or eharmony.com over the free sites (we’re not affiliates, it’s just our personal preference after a lot of experience). You get what you pay for. Make sure you take the time to get attractive current photos and write a profile that your match will find interesting (Tip – men and women are different and so your profile needs to be written for who you are trying to attract)
- Social Media: Make sure your Facebook or Linked In profiles are searchable and have a fantastic photo up. There are plenty of ways to maintain your safety on these sites while still flying the happy and single flag. Lots of old flames are finding their way to each other through social media connections.
Step Two: The Solo Adventure
Where are the men or women you want to meet hanging out?
The strategy is plain and simple. Go where your matches are going.
This is a little different than what others may be telling you about going where you want to go and while you are busy being happy you’ll just happen to meet your match.
Your perfect match may have different habits while single than when partnered. Hey guys, how many women are hanging out at the driving range? Hey ladies…that’s one more idea. Come to think of it, we’ve met men at the bar at the golf course.
Plan to go on 2-4 solo adventures a month.
If you’re looking for a successful and masculine man who would appreciate a woman who cooks for him, he might be having dinner at the bar of his favorite steak house a few nights a week.
Looking for a sporty guy, find him at the local sports bar on a night when there are no big games playing on the TVs (otherwise he will only be focused on the game).
- Go Alone. Women in groups generally do not get approached.
- Pick a night other than Friday or Saturday night when the bar is really crowded with groups or couples.
- Sit at the Bar and order a drink and something to eat.
- Be approachable by being friendly with the bartender and making eye contact with other guests at the bar.
Why this works – By being friendly with everyone no matter if they are your type, man or woman, you look fun and approachable. See Step 3 for more specifics on this.
Looking for a woman who is sophisticated and educated? Try an evening mixer at a local museum.
Looking for a down to earth girl? Try a local coffee shop.
- Go Alone.
- Make eye contact with the woman you are interested in and say hello.
- Connect with her over where you are or what you are doing. You can say something like “Do you like this painting?” or “What are you drinking?”
- Approach Women in Groups. Women feel more comfortable going out in groups. Most women love for men to politely approach them. If no man approaches her she may go home wondering why no man talked to her.
Why this works – A lot of women are not comfortable posting profiles on line. They feel most comfortable going out with their girlfriends to try to meet men. One of the biggest complaints we get is that they never meet anyone. They think it’s because there are no guys interested in them. When you approach groups of women you have the chance to meet women you can not meet any other way.
Step 3: Slow Down, Smile, Make Eye Contact and Say Hello
Adopt a new habit as you go about your daily routines. Become the person who meets lots of new people everywhere they go. It’s so easy we promise anyone can do this. We are both introverts and both manage to do this most days.
Plan to do this every day.
- Slow Down.
- Notice people and who is noticing you.
- Smile. (it’s as easy as deciding to do it and putting a visual in your head that makes you smile) A warm smile makes a woman or man look approachable.
- Make Eye Contact. When you are interested in someone make eye contact and hold it longer than feels natural.
- Say “Hello”. This is how conversations start and if they are not interested they will just move on and you have nothing lost because all you did was say hello.
- Connect and be receptive. Find something in common and let someone know you are receptive to connecting outside of this encounter.
Men: Say something like “What a fun event the museum is putting on tonight. Do you get out to museums often?” If the conversation continues and you are still interested then ask her on a date. Yes, a date. Women find it attractive when a man goes for it. If she says no, you can recover by saying “You are so charming, I just had to ask.”
Women: Let him know you are open by saying something like “It is so nice to meet a great guy like you. I’m really enjoying this conversation and would be open to continue our conversation if you’re interested.” Then let him take the lead. If he’s interested and available he’s likely to respond positively.
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